


A Brief Crosstalk

by billindip



Category: South Park
Genre: Chinese cross talk, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-21
Updated: 2018-02-21
Packaged: 2019-03-22 04:15:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,261
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13756101
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/billindip/pseuds/billindip
Summary: Craig and Kyle are on a show, so what did they do?





	A Brief Crosstalk

**Author's Note:**

> My friend just wrote this. :D  
> Both of us aren't native English speaker, and as she said: I am trying to write a Chinese cross talk, and its features might be a little biting and… rude I'm afraid? So if you find it is offensive or something, just blame me and I shall take the responsibilities.

Craig: Hey. Today Broflovski and I gonna tell a riddle.  
Kyle: Yeah. We will talk about riddles together.  
Craig: Normally, there should be a long long opening speech, but I’m sick about this. So, let’s just begin.  
Kyle: OK. You’re quite straightforward, aha?  
Craig: Well. Just listen.  
Kyle: Fine.  
Craig: Say, there’s a fan in the distance.  
Kyle: Ah.  
Craig: And when you move closer, it is a fan.  
Kyle: Right.  
Craig: Fans are fans.  
Kyle: But it does not turn.  
Craig: …wait, you have grabbed my line.  
Kyle: Nonsense. This is a really old riddle. I mean, maybe it can recall to our grandpas!  
Craig: So, you got it.  
Kyle: Yeah. "there’s a fan in the distance, and when you move closer, it is a fan, fans are fans, but it does not turn! What is it? A fan without electronic!”  
Craig: Okay. So, you have already known it.  
Kyle: Yeah, . let me tell you. * face the audience * This man, right beside me, does look earnest and serious. When he stands out, he looks like a person...  
Craig: Looks like a ... wait, Broflovski.  
Kyle: What?  
Craig: Your sound like I am not a person when I sit down.  
Kyle: Er…you think so?  
Craig: Is that not what you mean?  
Kyle: No, not at all. How could you! So, you do think people around here will say something bad about you to make fun, ha? No! You misunderstand others!  
Craig: Oh, so, you mean, this is my fault?  
Kyle: Or who else?  
Craig: …Nothing to say.  
Kyle: As i said, he always told old riddles. I mean, quite boring when you get its logic. Such like "there’re gloves in the distance, and when you move closer, they are gloves. Gloves are gloves, but there are a lot of holes! What is it?"  
Craig: You really learnt something today, ha?  
Kyle: Yeah, "What is it? Broken gloves!"  
Craig: OK. I’m done. *leaving*  
Kyle: Er…Wait, no. No, Craig?  
Craig: what’s wrong with you?  
Kyle: what’s wrong with me? Why are you asking me? you have not tell a riddle yet, so where are you going?  
Craig: where? I think you have known the answer, you little smart boy.  
Kyle: what?  
Craig: "Old riddles, repeated over and over again,” Let’s see you do better. So here you go, I will be right here and watch.  
Kyle: No, no, no. Mr. Tucker, please. how old are you?  
Craig: Oh, I am 9, thank you.  
Kyle: I mean, come on, boy. Everyone is waiting for your riddles. Don’t be so childish, okay?  
Craig: Oh, now you blame me for my childish.  
Kyle: I do not mean this! Anyway, tell us a riddle.  
Craig: no.  
Kyle: …tell us a riddle.  
Craig: nope.  
Kyle: TELL US A FUCKING RIDDLE WILL YOU MR. TUCKER?  
Craig: w-wait, wait, wait!!!!! Fuck you, Broflovski!!!!  
Kyle: what!  
Craig: Fuck you! what the hell are you doing to my arms?! Leave me alone!  
Kyle: but you could not do this!  
Craig: what did i do?  
Kyle: You do not cooperate with me!  
Craig: I do not cooperate ... I do not cooperate with you ... Well, maybe you can tell why I do not want to work with you.  
Kyle: I do not care why you do not work with me, Craig. Anyway, you have to tell a riddle today! We are at the performance!  
Craig: No, you are the one who is going to tell the riddle.  
Kyle: Oh, OK. It’s my fault, all right? I want to say sorry to you, and hey, come on! Tell us a riddle. Finish the stupid game, and then I could let you go.  
Craig: ... Fine. I'll tell one.  
Kyle: thank you.  
Craig: Well, er,.. um…. "there’re gloves in the distance."  
Kyle: No, not this one please.  
Craig: why?  
Kyle: not this one.  
Craig: Why not?  
Kyle: I've already talked about it.  
Craig: Oh, you’ve already talked about it.  
Kyle: yeah.  
Craig: so may be you can talk more, I’ll listen.  
Kyle: Hell, no. grow up please, Craig?  
Craig: you really want me to say this?  
Kyle: yes, I do.  
Craig: Then shut up, stop being an annoying bitch here.  
Kyle: Hey!  
Craig: shut up please?  
Kyle: OK, OK, I'll shut up.  
Craig: Oh, and then I continued ... I’ve said that, there’re gloves in the distance.  
Kyle: yeah.  
Craig: and when you move closer, there is a straw hat.  
Kyle: Hmm...?  
Craig: tell us what this is.  
Kyle: This is ...  
Craig: Come, come, Broflovski.! Tell us what this is.  
Kyle: this ...  
Craig: Um?  
Kyle: you haven’t finish the riddle!  
Craig: OK. So here you are: “there’re gloves in the distance, and when you move closer, there is a straw hat. Gloves are gloves, and hat is hat. So, guess what we talk about here.”  
Kyle: I don’t know… What is it?  
Craig: Gloves, holding a straw hat.  
Kyle: ...  
Craig: Hey, what are you doing?  
Kyle: I'm done. Yeah, I am done.  
Craig: What's the matter with you?  
Kyle: No, it's too embarrassed to say riddles like this. Too embarrassed.  
Craig: wait!  
Kyle: I do not wait… this. I could not go on, it’s too embarrassed, Craig.  
Craig: What?  
Kyle: It’s not a riddle!!!  
Craig: Oh, so you are not satisfied.  
Kyle: Of course! I am not satisfied.  
Craig: Well, since Broflovski said that, maybe I shall be more serious.  
Kyle: yeah.  
Craig: I shall give a serious one.  
Kyle: That’s right.  
Craig: here you are.  
Kyle: okay.  
Craig: This summer, I bought a watermelon.  
Kyle: Well, you bought a watermelon… not “there’s a watermelon in the distance”, ha?  
Craig: No, shut up.  
Kyle: Fine, go on.  
Craig: I went home and cut it with a knife.  
Kyle: You cut it.  
Craig: There is a sound: clack!  
Kyle: And then?  
Craig: It turned into five parts!  
Kyle: what?  
Craig: guess how i did it.  
Kyle: How did you ...  
Craig: yes, guess what i did.  
Kyle: Hey, hang on. You hold the knife.  
Craig: yes, I had a knife.  
Kyle: you cut the watermelon.  
Craig: Yeah, go down.  
Kyle: Without a turn.  
Craig: No.  
Kyle: ...... it’s odd, how did you cut it?  
Craig: Guess, Broflovski.  
Kyle: ... there was something strange with that knife.  
Craig: What's the problem with the knife?  
Kyle: This knife, had five blades.  
Craig: Five blades?  
Kyle: Yes, and then you cut it. Clack! There are five parts.  
Craig: Your knife must have some relationship with a windmill.  
Kyle: I am right, aren't I?  
Craig: nope  
Kyle: What's wrong.  
Craig: it is ridiculous.  
Kyle: So what’s the answer?  
Craig: the answer… you do not want to guess this?  
Kyle: I give up... wait a minute, if you told me that the watermelon was already divided into five parts, I shall not let you go.  
Craig: No, this answer is boring.  
Kyle: Really?  
Craig: yeah, i promise you when i bought it, it is a whole whatermelon.  
Kyle: ...... ok i do not know the answer.  
Craig: i thought you were the smartest boy in our class.  
Kyle: just tell me, ok?  
Craig: you are in a hurry.  
Kyle: JUST TELL ME.  
Craig: as i said.  
Kyle: Well.  
Craig: Say, a watermelon, on my table.  
Kyle: ok.  
Craig: I was holding this watermelon.  
Kyle: yeah.  
Craig: I cut it with a knife.  
Kyle: yes.  
Craig: Then it was divided into two parts, right?  
Kyle: Yeah.  
Craig: but I did not hold this half, it fell to the ground!  
Kyle: what?  
Craig: It fell to the ground, turned into a bunch of small parts!  
Kyle: Fuck off, Craig!!!!


End file.
